Spiral

I get it.  The doubt. The lies.  The desire to fall. For it to end.  You want to lash out. You don't want to feel good.  Words of encouragement just....enrages you.  Because you know. 

You're needy.  You don't want to be needy but the need for what once was, grows.....like dark algae, feeding on despair. 

Spiral

I feel like I want to spiral.  I've been sick for years.  My marriage is a basically over.

I have to move because my apartment makes me sick and the landlords tried to evict us and lost - but we still have to move.

And I just lost my job.

I want to spiral.

I want to be bitter.

My brain edges towards the edge.

And a voice whispers that everything I need is inside me.

Everything I need, every course I taken, every class, every video, every audio book every divinely inspired ideas - all usable.

So what are you going to do.