I Won God! Ha Ha!

I woke up this morning quietly.  My asthma was bothering me as it usually does when I first wake up.  Whatever.  After my breathing calmed down again, there went my mind - going 1000mph on the things I need to do today.  The decisions I need to make today.  My mind is always in GO mode when I have nothing to do.


I sat at my laptop practically all day on yesterday, trying to think of ways to make some money, get another job, looking for jobs, applying for jobs, scheming, plotting, hoping, despairing, wishing, GOING, GOING, GOING.

My sudd-muffin sat quietly at the foot of the bed and gave a little scoff after my last round of questions for him.  I do that sometimes.  Question him to death about stuff.What? I asked.  "Nothing", he said.  But I knew what he was scoffing at.  I am always going, never giving it a break.
I realized this morning I have been ignoring my own faith.  I've been in a foot race with the Lord and I've been "winning" - yay!  Not so much.  Things never move fast enough for me so I always have to give things a little push.  My marriage especially and my finances.  But God has been saying all along to trust in Him with ALL of your heart, lean not on your own understanding and He will direct your path.  Really Lord?  I thought I was.  I was working right there beside you, trusting that you would do the right thing and making sure

I was there to make sure things were going right.  But you know what, God doesn't need a foreman on the job.  He needs a patient believer.

Something I forgot.
I remember Lord.  I remember.