Blessed are the Meek

That was the topic in church today.  Goodness does the Lord read me like an open book and I sat there in church thinking to myself - ok, you need to humble yourself more, show more meekness, it's ok - what is happening now is just a test and Jesus will work it out.  You know all those things we are so familiar with when it comes to our faith..........I believed it as I sat there.....as I was driving home, as I walked through the front door of my house, even as I looked in the fridge for something to eat.

Then everything I thought I left at the alter somehow turned right back around, climbed up on my back and came home with me.  {sigh} If my joy is in the Lord, then why do I feel like crying?  If God is before me, then why do I feel like "my world" is against me?  I know God.  I know Jesus.  I know my faith.  What I don't know is who.I.am.  And maybe that is what the problem is.  I am not empty enough; broken enough; humble enough; meek enough; hungry enough; thirsty enough. 

I get it.  I search and search for {something goes here} that will fulfill me; placate me; satisfy me; Lord if I ever had a thorn in my fless boy is this the big one.  You know I blog, I try to trust my husband more, I try to understand my grandmother and put myself in her shoes, I think I try to be more of a friend but there has got to be something that I am missing because I should not feel this empty. 

PPO - Pity Party Over

So I will trust in the Lord, with all of my heart and dont worry so much about what I don't understand about my life.  Here are the things that I am quite sure of: 

1. I am weak but it is alright - Gods strenth IS made perfect in my weakness.
2. God does love me, He does, I know He does or else.........
3. I am blessed
4. To some he gave many talents.  I am one of the some.
5. I will Praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:  marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.  Psalm 139:14

PRAISE.
FEARFULLY.
WONDERFULLY.
MARVELOUS.