So much to say....so little motivation to say it.

How long has it been since I've blogged????  I'm not telling.  It started off as part of my Daniel Fast & then kind of nose dived into PPD & not really feeling like writing.  I still don't.  But The Rapist (my therapist just in case yall thought I was crazy - no pun intended) said, "Do what you feel brings you happiness." I don't know if this really brings me happiness per se but it does take my mind off of all the junk.



Things I Discovered During my Hiatus
As you know or for those of you that don't know, I miscarried at 16.5 weeks on 12-12-10.  Recently I had to get ALL of my medical records together to try for the umpteenth time to apply for medical coverage through my job & found some very interesting facts within my medical Records.  Don't ask why I don't have medical insurance at a job I have been working at since 2009.  That story will follow.
Anywho as I sat in abject pain & sadness reading the aggrieved tale of losing my baby I found out several things.

1. An autopsy was done on my baby & it was a GIRL not a BOY as I was told.
2. I may have to take some legal action based on the events described in my medical records.

The fact that my baby wasn't so hard to deal with because I didn't care about the gender.  I do however have to change the name because Aiden doesn't really say "this is a girls name".  I have no idea what I am going to name her but the search is on and suggestions are welcome.

In regards to the legal action; I knew the day I went into the hospital that I was going to have problems because the ER doctor was an atomic butt-hole.  I had to file a complaint against him.  He wouldn't l listen to me, treated me like I was an idiot AND tried to bully me.

What I didn't really pay much attention to is that all through my medical records, it says, "patient complains of contractions coming 5 to 10 minutes apart...."  Yep.  I did say that repeatedly while I was there & you know what, those folks chalked up my pain to a fibroid.  A damn fibroid.  WHO HAS LABOR PAINS FROM A FIBROID????

They never listened, bombarded me with pain meds, did exploratory surgery on me, removed my appendix even though it looked FINE & I delivered my baby girl shortly thereafter.  Now I am pissed off all over again because I don't know whether to get a lawyer or let it go!

*Sigh*

This isn't what I wanted.  I just wanted my baby.  I still want my baby but the wanting and the loss is driving me crazy.  FOR REAL.  So I gotta do something. I find it clearly ironic I am writing about justice & balance so to speak and I am a freaking Libra.

By Phil Hands http://www.gazettextra.com/photos/2011/apr/06/38669/

  

Any comments are welcome.  What would you do?