I wasn't expecting these two ladies to impact my life as much as they have. Truth be told, I wanted to have my own babies. Have morning sickness, eat all I want, feel my baby grow inside of me. But God had a different plan.One year ago, my sudd-muffin approached me and asked if I would be willing to move to Gulfport, MS so he could be closer to his Aunt Donna and her children. He was very close to his Aunt Donna; she practically raised him. I immediately said no. I didn't believe it was a good idea. I was perfectly happy living where I was, working from home. We both had jobs, my daughter had been in the same school for some time. We both had jobs.
I didn't want to move. I didn't. Want. To. Move.
I thought it was the dumbest idea my sudd-muffin could come up with. We were living in a house rent free with TWO incomes. Sure times were a little bit thin but we were living. I was content. Well maybe I did hate my job but I was working from home everyday and saving gas dang it.
I had to pray about this request. I wanted so much to let my husband take the lead and make this decision for us but I had such a death clutch on the reigns and my belt was tight because I was wearing the pants - I was NOT letting this happen.
Well it did. We moved to Gulfport, MS under the guise of Aunt Donna having to have a radical surgery to save her life as she suffered from Cervical Cancer. Her then 17 year old daughter had been caring for her for years. The 11 year old at the time kind of fluttered in the wind with not a lot of attention and a do what you want environment.
This was not MY mothers cancer. It was not the best environment. My heart ached for them.
Then I looked at the fact that I was semi-healthy and if it wasn't time for me to have my own kids, then why not help someone else out? I loved my husband after all and kids have always been my heart.
So my journey began. This has been true tween/teen hell for me. I know nothing about raising a tween and a teenager. My baby girl was 10 and still plays with dolls. I asked God, how in the world am I supposed to parent this???
Cancer has a way of infecting not only your physical body but the emotional health of those who are NOT suffering from the disease.
It's not fair to anyone. It's not fair a child would have to care for her own mother and miss out on teen aged years. It's not fair that an 11 year old would be neglected because of it.
Cancer. Is. Not. Fair....I hate it.
My Aunt Donna passed away 7/24/2012 - on her youngest daughters birthday. This was a horrible day. I often ask why God he allowed it to happen that way. It matters not though. It happened.
Three months as a full time parent to three and I still wonder. How can I be a better parent? How can this cancer be used to infect people with good? What can I do to help other people who may inherit this type of situation?
Raise awareness.
No child should have to take care of their sick parent but kids do it everyday. Before bringing these girls in my life, I didn't know anyone personally who suffered or lost their battle with cancer.
This has opened my eyes and given me a different type of purpose.
One of my church members from Texas is a proud and wonderful advocate for cancer awareness in minorities. She is a Christian woman who lives her Christian walk out loud! Demi Austin-Thomas is a dreamer, believer, motivator, inspiration and empowering woman.
Out of the blue she asked me to assist her her annual cancer gala. Mind you, I'm in MS, she is in TEXAS. I didn't hesitate to assist.
Now a new organization umbrella-ed under Bee Empowered has the opportunity to reach and help millions: Empowered Life Cancer Network.
This network is dedicated to cancer awareness, prevention, detection and support. Hopefully we can also raise money to give relief to children taking care of parents suffering from cancer as well as give support to parents/relatives who take on kids who have lost parents to cancer.
Whatever we do, we cannot allow this disease to cripple our communities. So whatever your charity or organization of choice, give to help raise awareness.
Give to support. Give to "Save Lives through the POWER OF PREVENTION!"
Rest In Peace Donna 7/24/2012
6 comments:
Hi NaLonni,
What a heartfelt post! I am very sorry to hear about Aunt Donna. It takes quite a strong person to parent someone else's children. God bless you for taking that on.
I am your newest follower from Bloggy Moms "1000 Followers." If you get a chance, I'd love to have you over at my blog. Thank you.
Karina
www.momintheusa.blogspot.com
This is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I was not as young as these girls are when my mom became extremely ill, but I took care of her. I did not experience my 20's the way most young people do. To say that the children of the sick parent are radically affected is an understatement. My mom always used to say, "Honey, this is much easier for me than for you kids." I would argue with her. After all, everything we are shown and hear is about the patient. It is rarely about the caregiver. Now, with my own chronic illness, I can see what she meant. My illness is my battle and my life's activities ebb and flow at the mercy of it. I am okay with that because my body tells me what to do and what it needs. However, for my loved ones watching me struggle is so painful because they feel so powerless and often pick up the slack for me when I can't keep up. It is hard because they cannot hear what my own body and mind says. In the military there is a term used in warfare called collateral damage. It is the damage to the innocent in the pursuit of the enemy. I think of the children, loved ones, and caregivers as the collateral damage in the war against cancer or other chronic and fatal illness. Thank you for bringing attention to this issue.
Thank you Karina! Please please keep us in your prayers! I greatly appreciate your comment.
Erin, you are awesome. I am so thankful to have met you in ODO! God has us entertaining angels all the time and I am blessed to have been in your presence. Yes the care givers are collateral damage. I only hope that I can try and undo some of the damage that has already been done to this precious girl. I know God brought u together for a reason. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. Imagine, God moved you at the right time to influence those girls in way you may never know. Teens are hard but they are often yearning to get the attention of anyone...the Lord needed some godly example, YOU.
Thank you Sister Girl - sometimes I wonder what I am doing here and my daughter wonders too but I know avid is on control here.
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