Memory Box....

I have had the memory box sitting next to my desk in my home office. I often glance down at it while I am working.  Sometimes it jumps into my line of vision as I am talking......reminding me of that time.  I don't know why I want it next to me.  Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself.  Sorry for the loss.  Or maybe I just don't want to forget what once was.  My daughter wrote a poem about him.  

I still call him "him" because that is what we were told.  That is what we know.  Some days are really easy.  I can look in the box, look at his picture and put everything back with joy in my heart.  Other times I fight back the tears.  Today was one of those days the tears won.  I snapped up "Aidans" box as soon as  I got off work.  Undid the ribbon and took out each piece to study it.  But this time I did something different.....I took pictures of each piece to digitize my memory box.  I was so thankful the women in the L&D deparwtment for giving me this.  It truly has given me peace in my hard times & joy in the harder times.

So tiny. So soon. So loved.

 

WOW

I am speechless, I am humbled, I am inspired, I am hopeful, I am a piece of history, I am one of the millions of men and women who thought that it wasnt possible. But to God be the Glory. The bible says the meek shall inherit the earth.......my God the earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof - who ever thought that Gods words would ring true. For some this feat is trivial, something to be mocked and downplayed but when I think about my grandmother who remembers the white only signs, when I think about my grandmother and the horrible, horrible way she was treated as a little black girl growing.......I cant help but to well up inside with hope everlasting.

My God is good, my God is truth, my God keeps his promises and gives hope to the hopeless. This is the beginning of many "firsts" to come. Lord, I see hope in your people, I see hope in what you died for and hope that it will ring true in the hearts of many - LOVE. I am full - I am overflowing - I am joy personified.

What's your thorn??

So whats your thorn? Comon' spill it!

This is what good ole Paul said and of course Jesus' reply- I will paraphrase:

"So, in order to keep me from getting such a big head, God sent me a messenger of the flesh - an issue of Satan to remind me that I am human. I asked him like three times already to heal me of it but he said to me, "My grace is enough for you Paul, you know you are a sinner anyway, therefore my power is made perfect in weakness."

So we all have issues of the flesh to reminds us that we are not perfect. That stuttered speech, our bull headedness or maybe we were injured and every now and again that old injury starts to ache and we are reminded that we survived. Whatever our thorn is - we keep movin forward in our weakness and God provides the rest.

My thorn in my flesh is....................drum roll please: Control. I have to be in control of everything or I feel like Im not being productive. Which is why I have decided to walk away from pursuing my "degree" any further. My grandmother told me that school can become an addiction and ya know what she is right!

She made me realize that I have been going to school since 1996 - High school - graduated, junior college - graduated, 4 year university - graduated, 4 year university again - huh??

I keep feeling like I need to keep going to school because I dont know what I want to do yet. I want to be an actress, a marriage counselor, a girl scout leader, a camp counselor, a consultant - but no where in there can I learn about being a better Christian and my desires are all tied up in my distractions.

I keep tellin myself that I need to go to school and you know what I dont. I have a degree already........the only school I need to go to is ULIFE - U Live In Fullness Everyday.

Give me a thorn and I'll show you the Rose its clinging to ~ A NayLahism