October

It's 630am.  I awoke exactly at 5am. Unable to sleep any longer. This is a hard day for me. I slept horribly.  Every. Single. Thing. Woke me up. I haven't worked in almost 3 weeks. And Lord I'm scared. 

I've been here before.  One could say that I've built a home here. At age 17 I stopped by for a short visit. I remember I called the nurse "peppermint patty" and the whole room erupted in laughter. 

At 18, it wasn't so funny. At 21, I made the decision myself. I believed it was the best thing for my life at the time. 

After turning 27, dealing with a semi-broken marriage, my Lord, who knows what is best for me decided that the timing was off. I was too broken. The very next year, same month (October) at 28 years of age, low and behold, my brokenness had not yet healed and things ended.

I'm 36 now and starting to see a pattern here.  October is a very popular month for me. It brings me a new year of life. My sister, nephew, father(s) as well. Countless relatives share October birthdays but October for me is when winter stealthily churns into spring.

There is a saying, every pregnancy is different.  How right they are. But I never realized until this month that every miscarriage is different. Sure the main medical issues abound - a baby is lost.  But the process of that loss can vary from time to time. 

This time around, I am in a place of isolation. All around. No close family nearby. No "real friends" that actually care enough to come see about me. Nothing. Who, on their birthday, can seriously deal with the knowledge that they are carrying around a fetus with no heartbeat and NOT feel like dying?  And to top it all off, not one single person (EXCEPT my mother) wished me a happy birthday on Facebook!  As if that means anything. It doesn't.

So as I sit here, typing this post, unable to sleep, waiting to go to the hospital - I dread this dilation and curettage. As I know, that once this is done, it is truly over. And you know what is so wrong but funny at the same time, I thought to myself, "Cool, I can have a drink on my cruise to celebrate 8 years of marriage."

Is that right? Of course it is. Am I being SELFISH???  No. I am human after all. At various points of our lives we find ourselves in situations and trials that seem to overtake is. These trials sometimes bring the darkness into our lives briefly as we forget that it is God who is in control, no one else. 

Miscarriage - oh that word. That word is like my silent sibling - kicking my butt secretly as I yell out to my father in objection, that it isn't fair. Did I do this? Should I have quit my job? Have I been too depressed? I mean, Lord you gave me my son - in October 2013 - what did I do now, I whine.

NO! This period of testing has just begun and we would like to think the instructions for this test are comparable to that of a test given in school or online. But oh, contraire. God gives only one instruction that covers all - Have faith.

God is with us throughout.  He may be silent but he is still there. He wants to know that everything he has put in us will be put to good use.  

So why should I allow the enemy to steal the joy that I have? I wont. How can I look at my daughters and son and not smile with utter happiness? I can. And why would I believe that the Lord is somehow punishing me for my past sins when his word says, that he has cast them as far as the east is from the west??? I shall not.

So, I will trust in him with this surgery. Not fall into despair. When I feel like crying, I will but I will remember that my joy is still within. I have a husband, 2 beautiful daughters and 1 handsome little boy that need me. 

I will come though this, smiling and praising the Lord. 

Wordless Wednesday

Scenes from a day in our life...

Saving My Greek Experience By Going Asian

Making the decision to not take my skinny for granted has given me more courage to try new things.  New foods, new exercises, new ways of thinking.

I am a closet foodie.  Although my family is originally from California and we never really spent any time in the south, my grandmother cooked like we had lived there all of our lives.

We weren't the traditional fried chicken and greens every Sunday dinner family.  I have never eaten chitterlings or pigs feet.  I have tasted the latter though and I love to watch the process and the smell of my grandmother making hog head cheese.  From her buying the hog head, boiling it, getting all the bones and teeth out - this was a process that amazed me!

My grandmother was always making something different.  Like Farmer John hot dog spaghetti - one of my FAVORITE spaghetti's of all times.  My granny can cook it in 10 minutes flat - never understood how she did it but, man a hot dog with pasta NEVER tasted so good!!

From the different foods we would eat, I developed an adventure for trying something new.  So last week I decided, WE, all of us were going to eat a Greek dinner:  

• Balsalmic Honey Glazed Grilled Lamb Chops with Apricot Mint Jelly
• Couscous with Parmesan cheese and green onions
• Rachal Rays Raosted Vegetables

I am happy to report that we are still alive and there was no upchucking.  My daughter and I LOVED the lamb, I cooked it beautifully.  The apricot mint jelly did wonders for it. I didn't realize how lean of a meat it was.  I also didn't take pictures. 

The roasted green beans were awesomely delicious.  This was my first take on cooking couscous which to my surprise I found out it is a pasta.  It cooks very quickly.  I cooked it in chicken broth or attempted to.  It kind of cooked itself bringing to life an aromatic cloud of green onion and cheese. Boy that thing lived.  Then it proceeded to die a horrible, lumpy, Parmesan and green onion death.

I was devastated.  Before we started eating I gave my kids permission to spit the food out respectfully - the one and ONLY time I will ever do this.  There was much napkin covering of the mouths at my table with that darn couscous. 

I had no idea what to do.  I wasn't about to throw away 2lbs of couscous, that was simply out of the question.  So I called on one of my memories from my granny.  On one occasion my grandmother attempted to make some type of Chinese noodle concoction.  I have no idea what it was supposed to be but what she ended up turning it into was homemade Rice a Roni.  San Francisco aint got nothing on my granny!

But to fix my couscous, I had to take drastic kitchen sink measures.  First I heated the couscous up to help separate it better.  Then I looked in my fridge for vegetables that I needed to get rid of, found them: orange bell pepper, cilantro, three tomatoes on the vine.  I went to slicing, dumping in the veggies with Emeril Lagasse flair - BAM! - while one of my girls continuously stirred and separated that couscous. 

Then I thought, hmmm, how can I turn this up a notch?  MEAT!  I always have a bag of Tyson Grilled Chicken strips in the freezer since changing my eating habits, it's a quick and easy chicken to thaw and throw into anything.

Fingers flying across my iPhone, I looked up some type of dressing to use with couscous and found a basic balsamic honey and Dijon mustard dressing and added my own flair: Asian 5 spice and lemon.  I whisked that sucker together and proceeded to let my salad phoenix rise from Couscous death!

Results:  Both of my girls took to it like it was ice cream.  I gave them the option to add crispy Asian noodles or wantons to it.  They love the crispy noodles with it.  So for the rest of the week this will be my lunch - Phoenix Couscous Chicken Salad with 5 Spice Balsamic Dijon Dressing. 

And - I have pictures. 

I Want a Jabez Christmas

Church topic today was having a Jabez Christmas - if you don't know the prayer of Jabez, check out 1 Chronicles 4:10 .

With so much commercialization of the birth of Christ this message was refreshing.  Jabez asked for God to bless him so that he could be a blessing to someone else.  Not only that, he asked for God to protect him from himself and evil.  We all know how we can get when God blesses us - we focus on the blessing so much that we forget just who blessed us and the purpose behind the blessing:  To be a blessing to someone else.

I'm not into presents anymore, it is played out.  So you will not find me running around from store to store trying to find the perfect gift - no offense to those that do.  Beside that - I don't have the money anyway. 

Sure my kids go through the "I want, I want, I want - blues" because Christmas is rolling around.  And of course my response to them is - what gifts are you bringing to the table?  Have you saved up any money to buy anyone anything? 

No? Exactly.

The wise men, brought gifts to Jesus.  They didn't come without anything.  They brought their best.  Some may not be in the position to come to God with their best.  But that is why God is so good.  That is what Jesus is about.  When you come to him, you may come feeling empty, with brokenness, with your mess, our shame, our sin and heavy burdens - we can lay these things at his feet.  

Just like the wise men laid their gifts in front of the child Jesus and praised him.

Who are we praising with the gifts we buy our kids that in less than a month will be obsolete and forgotten?  Sure they will be excited, the wrapping paper all around, beautiful bows forgotten in the corner, boxes torn open - the quick fizzy fizz now over.  But what lesson are they learning?

How can we show our kids what Christmas is about?  I'm glad you asked.

MEMORIES. Create Christmas memories.  Volunteer at a food or soup kitchen.  Have your kids go through their clothes and toys they don't want to give to those who need something.  Troll twitter and Facebook and look for people who are in need and give to them. 

Radio stations fulfill Christmas wishes all the time - donate to them.

Christmas is about giving of ourselves - the best part of us.  It's about Jesus Christ and Jesus was about LOVE.  I want to get back to love. 

How will you get back to giving and love this season?  Let me know!

The 80’s Back to Basics

Yesterday on October 10, my lovely husband had a surprise for me.  As I sat in the bed, posting thank yous’ to the many birthday wishes on my android, all of a sudden the opening song of Jem blasted out of the TV.  My head snapped up so fast and I was dumbstruck!  I couldn’t believe it.  I had been wishing Hub would put Jem on since Transformers and GI Joe had been revamped – I thought it only fair to put the full lineup on and here it was – on The Hub

I admit it.  Jem was my favorite cartoon next to Thundercats back when I was 8.  I LOVED JEM.  She was truly outrageous.  Even though they may have stolen a page from Disney since Jerricas’ (Jems’ real name) mom died in a plane crash, she was to me an awesome roll model for girls.  So much unlike the TV shows today where kids run amuck with no parental supervision, talk back to their parents, disregard the parent/child relationship and the parents who are present act like kids.   Also don’t let me started on the pseudo cursing on these shows.

You know what I am talking about – iCarly.  That’s the “Chiz”, really?  Or the one liner where another word is filled in for the word, “ass”.  Granted the shows are funny sometimes but I shake my head at the disrespect and subliminal messages on the show.  Ok, off my soapbox now.

Back to Jem.

Jem was an awesome show about typical girlfriend rock group trying to do their thing while their rivals, The Misfits continuously interfered.  The funny thing about The Misfits though, they never really wanted to see Jem and the Holograms get hurt.  They always came through to protect Jem and the Holograms and somehow help to save the day. 
It was a cartoon that taught me a lot about honesty and friendship.  Two things that don’t seem too important these days.  I remember how “doing the right thing makes you a superstar” moments and the MUSIC VIDEOS.

Classic 80’s theme song!!

A lot of 80’s cartoons had do the right thing messages or, stay in school messages.  What happened?  Sex and vulgarity.  It is no longer enough to draw kids in with doing the right thing, following their dreams or being good friends – that doesn’t sell.  Things like Family Guy, the Simpsons have taken over.  The industry is so focused on the entertainment part of television that they have taken edutainment out of it.  So what can we do as parents who are raising little girls and boys? 

Credit

Get back to basics.  My mom and grandmother had rules for everything, eating my food, cleaning, TV watching.  Everything. And yes, I got my butt spanked – not often but it happened.  I say not often because those spankings worked.  I didn’t have a choice on whether or not I wanted to eat what was fixed.  I had to eat it or not eat at all.  I didn’t get up on Saturdays and start playing video games.  I got up, cleaned up, took a shower and ate breakfast.  This gave me all day to do what I wanted. 
We are living in an age where kids are encouraged to grow up quicker, not have ANY responsibilities and to do what they “feel” is right.  I am guilty of not getting back to basics.  But not any longer.  Not my daughter.  I remind her that it’s ok she still plays with her dolls, doing the right thing is important as well as trusting in God.  Yes, trusting in God. 

So do I think it’s working?  Check it out

I introduced Jem to my daughter yesterday.  SHE LOVED IT.  She even set a reminder to record a new one.  I’m not saying that this cartoon should be the model for good behavior in kids but it is a good start to get back to basics.  Where things were simple because there was discipline.  So thank you 80’s for showing me the way back to basics.  Now, someone be a doll and buy me the DVD set for my birthday!!

• 15 Best/Worst Cartoon Role models
• Common Sense Media
• Back on Stage
• Toys!!
• DVD Review

Nag Diaries - PMS Day 2

The dishes were still there.  Uggggggghhhhhhh!!  Not only were they still there - they were piled up in the sink.  Que-eva.  Now on to the rest of my day and the food portion of my powdered mustard seed plan (I said I would cook more).


I made breakfast for everyone - including the sudd-muffin.  Didnt say nothing about the dishes and just did them myself.  So much easier.  I even made the sudd-muffins lunch and I was actually happy about it.  Maybe we have been having so many issues being married because I wasnt participating in the marriage.  Doing these things actually made me feel good about being "wifely"  - go figure. 

Lunch!
I made lunch for the baby girl. I had a couple of scientists really interested in the contents of my refrigerator - particularly interested in some cherry tomatoes, cucumber and a mango.  I had to get rid of them so, SALAD it was along with breaded chicken patty sandwiches and orange slices.

Ingredients
1 old cucumber
Some old cherry tomatoes (pick out the bad ones)
1 mango (or any fruit you have on hand, preferably something like pineapple)
Cut up the veggies in small pieces and toss them in a bowl.

Eyeball the following ingredients

salt

pepper

lemon juice

sugar

balsamic vinegar

olive oil

Whisk together all the ingredients, taste, add more sugar and pour over veggies/mango and toss.  Voila!  I had a pretty picture of the actual food that was plated but........as I went to put some ketchup on my sandwich, it squirted out all over my sandwich, salad and orange slices......so.  Yeah. That's all I got there.

Moving on to my health portion - I was tired.  Really tired but I made myself get up and take my daughter for a walk down our little neighborhood path to the man-made lake.  We brought old sourdough bread for the duckies (I really must clean out my fridge and pantry more often).  It was a gorgeous day today and there were a lot of kids out.  It's funny how a little old bread can bring both kid and ducks flocking.

For dinner I cooked baked tilapia with garlic butter sauce, rice pilaf and broccoli. 

 Annnnnddddd - CAKE!!!

 
Me and the sudd-muffin spoke.  He grabbed me real quick for a kiss and a hug.....didn't know what to think of that so I just went with it.  I think my plan may be working....so thank you lord for Day 2 of the rest of my life. 

Nag Diary 11.2

Nothing really special to blog about today.  Still in recovery.  Still sore.  Still semi-lost with what I want to do with the rest of my life.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles. 

Time Warner Cable showed up at my house, unannounced - courtesy of my job.  Moving one step closer to working at home.  I have a desk in my office but I want a bigger desk so I have been perusing craigslist.com for desk.  I think I found one but this person keeps giving me the runaround so may have to start looking again.



From  http://www.nesfoundation.com/

 My baby girl is growing so fast! We need more time in the day.  I really wish they had a kids kickball league in this area.  I would love to get her involved in kickball.  I loved kickball growing up and it seems these days, kids cant do anything at school anymore or it gets hocked up to bullying, meanness or reducing kids down to mediocrity.  That's evident in school field day events where EVERYONE gets a ribbon. 

What a crock of hooey! 

Where is the competitive edge?  Everything has gone down the drain because the kids that were picked last in elementary school have grown up to become psychologists and relate to everyone that these games/events are no good for our children.  So now we have a generation of whining, mediocre, underachievers who always win something.  Maybe I'm being too harsh but I always believed if you have a Gym Teacher who doesn't allow these things to happen in class, it eliminates the problems. 

I remember going to school with a boy named Peter who was the best football athlete in 5 grade.  He was cool.  He always picked the people who sucked because he actually cared about folks being picked last.  At least that is what I decided what the reason was.  Where do you think he learned this from?  His gym teacher? NO.  His parents? Just maybe. 

If we want our kids to grow then we have to show them HOW to show compassion and how to root for the underdog so to speak; then being picked last will have no power.  I have always cheered for the underdog.  I have always smiled at the new kid, sat by them, invited them to sit with me because I was the underdog.  I was the new kid.  I was picked on for being black, for being smart, for having a big nose and lips.  It never ended.  But what I am thankful for is a grandmother who didn't allow those things to affect my outlook on people.  So I tell my daughter all the time, don't let your classmates pick on you or anyone else, YOU be the catalyst for change if that is happening, YOU be the one that makes someone feel better about themselves and don't worry if you are not rewarded for it. 

As for the folks that pick on her, that is another story for another day.

Wordless Wednesday - Randomness

My Not-So-Funny Valentine

Valentines Day started off like a prelude to War of The Roses. 

Nag Diaries - 5.3 - Conquering the Monkey Bars

Yesterday, I took my daughter on a walk in our neighborhood.  We actually have a nice neighborhood with a walking path & man-made lake and stream.  There were ducks everywhere. 
We walked until the path ended at the neighborhood playground.  Nothing spectacular about this playground.
 Just 4 swings two climbing areas with slides and – a set of monkey bars.  The big shadow is me – ha!

I loved monkey bars when I was a kid.  I even loved that little round metal bar shaped like a rectangle and drilled directly into the ground.  I would balance on that thing on my butt and then swing backwards with the back of my knees hugging the bar – around and around.  Some kids would even tie their sweaters around their waste and to the bar to swing around without the aid of your knees. 
Back to the monkey bars. 
At my school in Scottsdale, AZ, we had a nice jungle gym, swing monkey bar play area.  We had a set of monkey bars connected to the slide as well as metal rings that faced the monkey bars.  I would swing on the rings, just until I got the right height and momentum and let go to fly over to the monkey bars, catch it and monkey my way to the end and repeat.  I was fearless and not afraid to try anything.
Yesterday at the park, my daughter wanted to try the monkey bars.  Now she’s nine so, I thought monkey bars would be easy.  She couldn’t even swing.  She tried twice more than gave up – all the while complaining and whining about it. 
I was dumbfounded.  She’s nine and was afraid to try the monkey bars.  She was scared.  It made me realize how sheltered and out of shape she is.  For 6 years of her life we lived in a one bedroom duplex.  This place was smaller than my current master bedroom/bath and closet put together.  We slept on a sofa bed for 6 years.  I rarely let her go outside because of the neighborhood we lived in.  I mean, our neighbors were gangbangers and THEY watched out for us.  I was always too tired to take her to the park because I worked full time and went to school full time – trying to make a life for her.
This is the result.  She is afraid to try and quick to give up.  I don’t understand.  I am not that way.  I pushed and pushed while I was pregnant with her and after to..……or maybe I really “didn't”.  I just never realized it and it has rubbed off on her.  That makes me sick to my stomach.  It also makes me want to get rid of a lot of stuff in our lives that are not enriching it.  That’s hard to do when you’re married to “The Resistance”. 

I got up to exercise today after sitting on my bed for 45 minutes crying about Aiden and feeling just blah.  I finally got up and decided to exercise.  I invited my daughter to join me.  It was a mess.  I couldn’t even exercise for her whining and complaining.  What they heck is going on???  Did I raise my daughter up to this point to whine and complain.  NO SIR I DIDN’T.  So now I am perplexed on how to get her out of this….funk.  Any ideas???  Anyone?

Wordless Wednesdays: A Picture of Hope

My Baby Girl - I LOVE HER!!!!

Breakdown, 9 year old style

So my wonderful daughters teacher resigined.  I almost cried.  This is the best teacher my duagher has EVER had and she had to resign!  I had to tell my baby girl this weekend and she burst nito tears saying, How am I going to pass my TAKS test without her??  Lord, my baby girl has been through enough.  She just needs some time whree nothing drastic happens and the joy of her life is still present.  Rina is a happy child.  She was born that way.  She would wake up every morning with a smile on her face, no matter what.  I thought last year was bad for me and look at my baby girl struggling away with all these emotions, hurt, pain, confusion, anxiety.  If we didnt have the Lord in our lives, I dont know where my daughter would be.  She trusts in the Lord and writes everything down in her numerous journals.  I thank God for my baby girl, she is awesome and I am Glad God loaned her to us for a little while.

I have no idea what I am going to do about her school.  I want to pull her out and give the administrators a piece of my mind.  I wont slander the school on the internet because parents should decide for themselves but still.....ARGGG!!!!

Nag Diaries - Sunday with my Girl Photo Blog

She didn't want to give me any of her Cookie - LOL!

Nag Diaries - Almond Joy

I am home today....not feeling too good. My baby girl is back to school today after a day off...weird charter school schedule.  I don't know what I am going to do with her.  She has really good teachers but for some reason she is having a hard time keeping up with all the work they are given.  I mean this is 4th grade.  I can't expect her to be like I was in school...I was anal about my notebook and it's neatness - all the time.  I'm lucky if Rina remembers her notebook.  Anyway, they get too much homework if you ask me and nothing makes sense anymore.  I couldn't even explain algorithms (in 4th grade??) to my daughter based on the way the homework was set up.  I acutally felt STUPID or maybe I was having a pregnancy moment??  Lord how I wish I could be a stay at home mom....


I did start the morning off right though.  Check it out.

Start My Morning off Right List

✔ Me time: I took a shower, what more can I get at 6am

✔ Eat something: handfull of Cheerios..breathe, breathe....swallow....swallow.

✔ Eat something else: Cinnamon Life cereal - about a cup with 2% milk.  It stayed down.

✔ Eat some more:  Green grapes....about 8 of em.  They were sweet and yummy.

✔ Gripe about cleaning the house:  OK, only for about 5 minutes 2 minutes did i gripe then I opened the windows downstairs to air the house out.  Now it smells like a morning dog walk and wet grass......sheesh.

✔ Eat something else: Now this is where it got interesting....

I am on  a health food chop right now - not kick.  Have to be.  I have to chop out some of the old stuff I was eating.  I have too much weight and not enough baby.  My grandmother told me about Almond milk a couple of weeks ago.  I know how picky she is so I thought, what the heck try it.  I made an Almond Milk Fruit Smoothie.

It has bananas, mixed frozen berries, almond milk, honey and vanilla in it.  At first my stomach kinda said, hey what they heck is that????  Then I said, dont throw up and my stomach said okie dokie!  It was good except I noticed I started belching more.  I mean I belch all the time now that I am preggo but this was more than usual.  Go figure.  I had more than that picture below but I had already drank half of it before I remembered to take a picture....then me not being a food photographer, I wanted it to look good but didn't have anything to spruce the glass up except a frozen strawberry.  So I ran it under some warm water to soften up in order to stick it on the side of the glass.  Sacrifice.

You know what, looking at my honey that I used, I just noticed I bought imitation honey!!!!  GRRRRRRR!  Great.

 

Nag Diaries - Almond Joy

I am home today....not feeling too good. My baby girl is back to school today after a day off...weird charter school schedule.  I don't know what I am going to do with her.  She has really good teachers but for some reason she is having a hard time keeping up with all the work they are given.  I mean this is 4th grade.  I can't expect her to be like I was in school...I was anal about my notebook and it's neatness - all the time.  I'm lucky if Rina remembers her notebook.  Anyway, they get too much homework if you ask me and nothing makes sense anymore.  I couldn't even explain algorithms (in 4th grade??) to my daughter based on the way the homework was set up.  I acutally felt STUPID or maybe I was having a pregnancy moment??  Lord how I wish I could be a stay at home mom....

I did start the morning off right though.  Check it out.

Start My Morning off Right List

✔ Me time: I took a shower, what more can I get at 6am

✔ Eat something: handfull of Cheerios..breathe, breathe....swallow....swallow.

✔ Eat something else: Cinnamon Life cereal - about a cup with 2% milk.  It stayed down.

✔ Eat some more:  Green grapes....about 8 of em.  They were sweet and yummy.

✔ Gripe about cleaning the house:  OK, only for about 5 minutes 2 minutes did i gripe then I opened the windows downstairs to air the house out.  Now it smells like a morning dog walk and wet grass......sheesh.

✔ Eat something else: Now this is where it got interesting....

I am on  a health food chop right now - not kick.  Have to be.  I have to chop out some of the old stuff I was eating.  I have too much weight and not enough baby.  My grandmother told me about Almond milk a couple of weeks ago.  I know how picky she is so I thought, what the heck try it.  I made an Almond Milk Fruit Smoothie.

It has bananas, mixed frozen berries, almond milk, honey and vanilla in it.  At first my stomach kinda said, hey what they heck is that????  Then I said, dont throw up and my stomach said okie dokie!  It was good except I noticed I started belching more.  I mean I belch all the time now that I am preggo but this was more than usual.  Go figure.  I had more than that picture below but I had already drank half of it before I remembered to take a picture....then me not being a food photographer, I wanted it to look good but didn't have anything to spruce the glass up except a frozen strawberry.  So I ran it under some warm water to soften up in order to stick it on the side of the glass.  Sacrifice.

You know what, looking at my honey that I used, I just noticed I bought imitation honey!!!!  GRRRRRRR!  Great.

Nag Diary - Waaaah!

Sooo, This weekend was a weird one.  It started off on Friday - I got dizzy at work.  No worries, I was fasting and figured that was the reason.  The Saturday I filmed the movie - YAY!  We were out all night until like 4am - I got sick. Cough cough.  Then on 09-12-10  - I went ahead & rushed to CVS because I thought something was not quite right.  Two tests later, I'm PREGGO!!!! 

My husband didnt believe me.  It was very difficult and has been very difficult for him since I had my miscarriage Christmas day 2009.  We were both devastated.  So Monday - I went to the doctor - took another test - POSITVE.  Then I went to see my OB on Tuesday - POSITVE.

What's really weird about it is I am not late, no morning sickness no weirdness at all.  God is good.  No matter what happens with THIS pregnancy I will continue to serve Him.  Now - can anyone help me?  i would like to exercise still but I am high risk so I am afraid to really exercise - What are your suggestions??

Nag Diary - Waaaah!

Sooo, This weekend was a weird one.  It started off on Friday - I got dizzy at work.  No worries, I was fasting and figured that was the reason.  The Saturday I filmed the movie - YAY!  We were out all night until like 4am - I got sick. Cough cough.  Then on 09-12-10  - I went ahead & rushed to CVS because I thought something was not quite right.  Two tests later, I'm PREGGO!!!! 

My husband didnt believe me.  It was very difficult and has been very difficult for him since I had my miscarriage Christmas day 2009.  We were both devastated.  So Monday - I went to the doctor - took another test - POSITVE.  Then I went to see my OB on Tuesday - POSITVE.

What's really weird about it is I am not late, no morning sickness no weirdness at all.  God is good.  No matter what happens with THIS pregnancy I will continue to serve Him.  Now - can anyone help me?  i would like to exercise still but I am high risk so I am afraid to really exercise - What are your suggestions??